Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Where do I even begin?  
I am coming out of a very bad domestic violence situation that occurred in Denver, Colorado.  In the midst of the event, I lost my kids, I had my car stolen, and I lost my home.  I had to relocate to a place where I have never felt as alone as I do.  I lost my family's faith in me and I had to relinquish many of the friends I had.  I am 32.  
A little piece of my story (from the publicist perspective), which has brought me to where I am at today can be viewed in the following links:



Or just search online for "Eric Barney, Colorado, Aggravated Assault."
There are so many different links, it is not even funny.  
The story not only made local news, but national and international news.  

What a nightmare.  
Yes, most of what the news stations reported was accurate, 
but then things were also skewed or left out at one point or another 
in order to draw attention.  
Then, I love it(sarcastically) how so many people had comments to make on the news channel online blogs regarding looks, 
tattoos, or what I "supposedly" did to "deserve" it. 
Lies and misjudgments all around. 
Everyone has their own opinion I guess, but only I know how it all happened.

 So, now here I am.  I am simply here.  I can hardly breathe.  
I am lost on the inside and outside.  I don't know how to feel happy anymore.  I search and I search, but I don't know what I am looking for.  
I don't trust anyone....I don't know anyone.  
I don't know me.  
I know I am depressed, I have General Anxiety Disorder, and 
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  
I have nothing left....
and I have lost my integrity....
all because I didn't want to be hurt anymore.

I met him, we talked, we clicked.  
I fell head over heels for a man I didn't know.  
I trusted without thinking.  
It felt so good to have someone there who wanted to be with me.  
He looked different then, different then those mug shots, he looked clean.  
He seemed nice and genuine.  
He made me feel important and needed.  
He tricked me.

Now, I am lost in a world that I no longer know.  
I blame myself to the extent that I don't want to be here anymore.  
My heart is in pieces and my life is in shatters.  
The thought of a job....scares me.  
I apply and I apply for work, but no one answers.  
It is not because of them or my credentials, 
it is because of my thoughts and fears.  

So, where do I go from here?

I face the reality.

 I need to help other women who have been or are going through what I faced. 
I need to make sure that more resources are available for women in these situations. 
I want to develop in-home services for women who are really struggling - like me.  
I want to see the light and hold the light.


  1. My heart goes out to you! I have always thought of you as a strong woman and I am certain you will come out of this even stronger. Hugs my friend.

  2. Thank you friend.....Your words give me hope.